End on 2n Batx. (progress and competence)

Comparations, an evolution, changes... I've a lot to talk about my improvement between my first writing and this last post. When I see my firsts writings I can see some grammar faults and words that don't fit on the phrase, if I said that now I don't do that I'd lie, but I think that now I don't need to think so much in how to write. Where I think I haven't improved so much is in my oral presentations, when I compare my first one and my last one I still seeing an insecure boy that finds so many difficulties choosing what he wants to say, I still seeing so many wrong formulated phrases and words that don't fit. I still can seeing some words that I want to articulate but they just go out from me as strange sounds. But I'm sure that I can improve them, I just have to find the way to make them entertaining for me and for the audience, that it's something that I hadn't found.
If I had to talk about my writings... I have to tell that in all of them I've passed more time thinking in what would I tell and how to tell it that writing that. I've always wanted to express something important, to make the reader think about what I say. I wouldn't like to choose a "best post" because I have strained the same in all of them. I could say that my lasts posts, those where I talked about individuality (http://the-black-tie.blogspot.com/2011/05/dread.html) and those where I talked about a "line" (http://the-black-tie.blogspot.com/2011/04/sleep-and-dont-wake-up.html) (I think that these've been the most metaphorical posts that I've written) are interesting, but I wouldn't like to despise my firsts posts where I talked about justice, god, human relations, etc.
I used to talk about psychollogy because it's what has become the most interesting (and important) "subject" that I've ever studied. I don't like to say that I study psychollogy, I read it and it simply joins in my mind. I used to talk about philosophy, I think that the most of my writings are about philosophycal themes (maybe all of them). If you knew me in real life you'd see that I'm the same person that who writes this blog. I love to talk about what I think (and write, consecutivily) and I pretend to look like the person that I use to describe. I think that I want that others see in me the characteristics that I use to promote in my writings, and if they don't, it doesn't matter me anything, because I know that I'm doing what I want and I'm being like I am.
I really don't want to finish this blog, it has given to me so many memories. When I see some writings like "what do I want?" (http://the-black-tie.blogspot.com/2009/11/what-do-i-want.html) or maybe "Best friend" (http://the-black-tie.blogspot.com/2009/11/best-friend.html) I remember a time where I were disgusted for some things that now I wish to live them again. I've seen that I can yearn a moment that when I lived it I wanted to finish immediately. For example, at the moment that I writed "what do I want?" I felt so insecure with myself and really lost. I can't say that it has changed, but I would wish to return to that moment because then I didn't have the problems that I have now.
My future... If you look at my blog, there aren't any post (or I think it...) where I talk about my future. I hate to talk and to make hopes about it. I've seen that when I have hopes and I'm happy with something, it use to finish without my convictions. But I have to say that this blog has helped my more than any exam or english class (sorry, teachers) that I've done. I think that just one post has gived me more experience and more knowledge of english than one or two english classes. I think that for this link that I've found between my mind and english I feel bad when I see a finish in this blog. And for this reason I won't put any image with a farewell, or with a "game over" etc. I'm not even say goodbye. Writing posts, looking for the correct words, erase phrases that don't fit with my form of thinking, avoid themes that don't give something important to think... I've been 2 years doing it constantly without any obligation feeling. I know that I've always had my teachers telling me how many posts have I to write, or telling me my faults and virtues, but it doesn't matter so much in me, I would absolutely prefer to talk with them about what I've writed, to know what have they to say about my thoughts and to know if I've changed their way to see something.
I know that I've done some mistakes (in this post, for example, I should have written that 4 hours ago and divided in 2 posts), that I could have offend someone or that I could has been strange for some persons, but it's who I am and as I said in some of my posts, I love the individuality and rarety. I love to see how people fails and tries to improvise because I see these people like humans, when I see someone that use to be good, that do what they know best and don't do other things I question myself if they are humans or robots programmed to do just some things. Human is to be wrong, to accept it, to improve, to fail again, to sadden, to be glad, to see lies, to live lies, to tell lies, to change lies...
I have to finish it, but now I'm just finishing this post. I don't know if I will continue this blog (I know that lines ago I told something different), selectivitat and summer are so early. I don't want to thing about them, but I just want to know that they'll come. It's sufficient to depress me and to make me happy. I use to live with this first feeling, because I just see lies, liers that don't want to understand other ways of thinking, but at some moments I accept and live a lie and I'm happy, temporarily.
Well, this post has ended.

Can you feel that?

That feeling that invades yourself and forces you to question not what are you doing, but what aren't you doing that. I'm not talking about that typical feeling that sometimes are seen in TV where the protagonist feels sad and question himself why are he doing whatelse and where does he wants to do with his life, I'm talking about a mental impotence that substracts your energy and your feels like to do funny things. Time ago one could stay whenever he wants doing what entertains him, but now one just can forces himself to do that, and when he's doing that he gets tired immediately. Now one just wants to sleep and to wait for... to what? It's a feeling that don't make you question yourself what'll you do, it makes you to question why do you want a "will" and what's really important. It's so hard to avoid this feeling when it enters to our mind because it invades all yourself and I think that just a naive could avoid that.

It could be because these exams days or maybe for other things (or for both), but now I use to feel this feeling very often.

Dread

As I've said, dread is the feeling that alerts us about the posterior fault feeling that we'll suffer after doing something "wrong". In previous posts I've already talked about what'd happen if there weren't culture and repressions (we'd live as animals and there'll just live the strongest, but even him will live with the terror of the human's intelligence) but where the culture wants to send us and why?
I think that a good human example of a civilized man it's the one that get good marks, went to a good university, worked to help other people and to "advance socially", the one that's never done a bad thing and has never been punished, that person that respects people and never do destructives critiques etc. Even if that man exists, pretends that he were an example to follow will convert society in a military school, where everyone walks at the same time and in the same way, where if there's a person that thinks different he'll be seen as an "conscience's objector" and there'd be ranges and a lot of elitism.
I'm sure that if we were like this "culturally perfect man" we'll advance a lot in science and in "humanism", but wouldn't be strange that in the cities where these "perfect people" live there were a few mental hospitals where there'd be the people that in our society are just "strange"? That people that are different and loves their differences, those who hates the universalization of a way of thinking and even those that wear different clothes will have to live in mental hospitals just because they aren't normal, and then they can influence and damage the normal people (the perfect people).
Fortunately, people that there'd be in mental hospitals are, in our society, just strange people that it's better to don't be with them.

Fault

Yesterday I read a text from a blog (http://rincon-psicologia.blogspot.com/2011/05/el-sentimiento-de-culpa-entenderlo-para.html) about one of (in my opinion) the culture's creators: the fault.
When we aren't able to liberate our agressiveness because the possible reprisals, we are forced to internalize this and later this impossibility and angry inside us will express himself with the fault sentiment. A non satisfied pleassure will always affects us, and if there weren't culture we could do everything to satisfy that (when I say everything I mean to kill, steal, force other persons, etc.) but just because we have it we feel "angry" with ourselves because we wished something that we could not get. And this fail will influence us to don't try it again because it could happen the same or something worse.
But there are another feeling that I think that it's one of the most important creators of culture, the dread. That feeling that influences you to don't do something that will cause you a fault feeling after doing it. Because of this feeling people works to get money, buy food, seduces other people and insults when they feel angry. I don't know if it's innate, but it carries good things (to make us more civilized) and bad things (that desnaturalizes us).

Suppressed comments

I've verified that when one tries to demostrate his knowledge or abilities with a group of people they use to attend, but there are always a "better" person that'll show his superiority. It's seen everywhere and not just about knowledge, it's natural to get jealousies of any person that can do superior acts than you, and just our repression will make us sad with ourselves if we feel jealousies. I mean, when it's seen a really sick patient in a hospital with his boyfriend/girlfriend loving him/her as he/she never do it, it's natural to get jealousies of that love, to want to get that love... but our repression will avoid us to express that feelings because people's comments. You'll be seen as an egoist and egocentric person, just to express what you feel.

Because of that repression, we see some comments as "really bad and egoist comments" when they're just an expression of our feelings. Moreover, I feel that these comments are the best to express our strong feelings because they've won this social repression and have demostrated our human site.
Be wrong, because then you'll see yourself as you really are.

Homo sapiens benefit from a fabulous 4-6 billion-year-old legacy bequeathed by the Earth

Few days ago we saw a documentary that informs about ecological resources and our site and acts in the Earth. It was so interesting and some information shocked me.
I'm not gonna talk about our bad actions to the Earth and the consequences that we'll suffer, because I think that we all know them. What I've interested for it's man's evolution (natural evolution, not cultural).
Humans (and I'm in this group) use to think that they are the most evolved species in this planet, and we demonstrate this with our culture and knowledge. Progressively we gets the omnipotence of our god, I mean, we continually creates prothesis to give to our body what it couldn't do. We've done swords to increase our arms and to give them the quality of cutting, we've invented trains that substitute our foot, computers that increase our brains, the writing to "re-live" the dead person, etc. All them makes us like that homo erectus or homo sapiens thought how could be a god or a "super-sapiens".
Since this poor homo sapiens that imagined our possibilities has passed thousands of years, and we think that we live so much better than him, and I also think this, but not absolutely. This progression has caused problems (not just for the environment), problems caused because our new needs. Because a causal relation this progression forces us to progressing more and more.

Informal dialogue - Farmers in your country

E: So, you have chosen this profession because your family?
T: Yes, since I was a child I went every afternoon with my father to help him in the field or just to control our sheep.
E: I heard that you went to school and high school, but it seems that you prefer to work here. I mean, we don't need to go to school to be a farmer, right?
T: Oh, that's not true enough. I went to school and highschool because I wanted to study biology at the university and work as a ecologist scientist. But I hadn't do that, I prefered to live as my father and to be calm and happy here.
E: That's true, if I have to imagine myself living a beautiful and fully live, I always see myself being a farmer with my girlfriend. Living with what earth gives you and being with my pets and sons. And to travel a lot and...
T: Jajaj. It's not so easy. I have to sell a good part of my vegetables and also some sheep for meat. It won't make me rich, but I can subsist well. Besides, I'll always have work and food to eat.
E: But what do you do to fight against those industries that makes the same as you but with chemicals and other things? I see at the market that their products are cheaper and more valuable.
T: Well, I think that a chicken that has grown with 2 or 3 years are healthier that one that's grown in a week or a mont, I don't remember the time. Natural products are healthier and with the savour of earth, without chemistry.
A few days ago I went to a naturalist restaurant with my family and...

Privations

Suffering avoidance it's in front of the obtaining of hapiness. If we can choose between to receive a kiss or to success in a final exam and to stop a headache or to finish a paternal punishment I'm sure that we all will choose to stop a suffering. It's because if we choose the little and punctual hapiness we'll be satisfied, but after that we'll continue suffering because that feelings that have stopped punctualy. And this has conditionated our behavior, most of people will choose to go to school or work instead of to stay at home sleeping. The suffering that we avoide going to work it's the "fault feeling" that we'll feel if we don't go, and if it happens we will feel a punishment need generated of our interior authority.
That need of punishment is the base of culture. If we skip a norm that our father has inculcated us and we've accepted the norm like a part of our personality, we'll feel the need to apologize or to make something to "heal" the injurie. And we can see examples of this everywhere, a boy that has hurted his girlfriend will give her some roses to apologize, a father that has hit his son will buy him a computer game to forget the past, etc.

The border

There are people that think that after the border there are lands all of trees, adorable animals, pacific people and hapyness. Other people think that there are just sand, darkness, weak lights and a great ocean. Another group think that there are the both before. Another thinks that there are just another land with people sleeping and you will have another kind of dreams there.
I feel that I'm in that last group of people, but we just have to stop our imagination and open our eyes. Then, without any hopes that cover the need, we could really think objectively what is the border and what there are next it, if there are really something.
Now, when I see the border, I just see a "desactivation". I don't see a "change" like I saw before. To think and to come closer to the border gives panic about our lack of knowledge, but it doesn't just gives it.
Like all the people feel, it's better to sleep and don't wake up, because you could say things like these that I've saying.

Sleep, and don't wake up

There is really a way? Everybody thinks and need to think that there are a way and they do hypothesis about what there are in the way, how is it, where it goes, etc. No one has any logic, but they calm a need.
We can wait for a car that will make us cross the border, but some "mad" people prefers to cross it by foot. It's easy to criticize that one that doesn't want to wait: "Why so hurry?" "If you can be here, sleeping, why you have to wake up and... what? see that we all are sleeping? or maybe see the dark sky and the soft brown earth where we lay?
You can finish with the nightmare that you've been living, but everyone will make you to sleep again. There are many groups that hate to wake up, any other that love to sleep, but no one will recommend you to wake up.
If you return to the dream, you will resume the nightmare that you've been living. And you can't change it... Or you can? If you are "mad" enough, you'll wake up, move away from the dreamers, and to cross the border. Maybe it's the best way.

Formal Letter

c/ Invented - 4rth - 2nd A

Wonderland

12th April 2012

World Nuclear Association

...

...

Dear John Ritch:

I am writing in order to know your opinion and future plans about the Nuclear Energy that you controls. Nowadays there has been an important number of discussions, debats and revolutionary acts about the Nuclear Energy. That, like some people thinks, should have been done time ago.

On the one hand, the Nuclear Energy provide us more energy than renovable ones, and actually it is easier to get because it does not depends of the ambient, but on the other hand the possible negative consequences (that unfortunately we all have seen) makes it a really dangerous form to get Energy. Even if we stop Nuclear plants there will still be radioactive atoms in the air and water and, like some other cases, civil (and developing the most) people will suffer because our needs.

I am finishing this letter pregging you for and objective answer about your plans about affected people and also with the energy in general.

Thanks for your interest.

Adrià M.

News: Japan's disaster

Few days ago, there's been a terrible earthquake and then a tsunami in Japan. Both phenomenon has devastated an important part of the principal island. Since then there've been constantly programs and news about those people and the recuperation of the country. The primacy of these news has also reduced the time to explain the other news profundly.
We believe (or maybe "someone" wants to make believe us) that those tragedies that we see in TV are the most important in the world, just because they are in TV in a serious program like a news program. But of course that we know that there are other tragedies and more interesting news that those that we have in our country, even so we don't worry about them. We could probably remember that earthquake in that subdevelop country, or maybe that poor family that were going to die because the corruption of the country, but there are other things that we could see but we don't take it in care anything.
When I hear in some news program a tip like "there's been 100 deaths" I don't just get surprised, I also feel frustration, because I believe that they shouldn't give this tip with this ease. I think that all of these persons should have a whole TV program to explain their live, one by one, one for day. We do this when a famous person dies (like a king or a singer), but why not with a "current" person? Why that 16's years old japan boy just has to be one more of the number of deaths?

Podcast: Description

2nd O.P. & Reflections

I've got some problems with this O.P., problems with the day that I should do this (it's been posponed a few times) and problems with the recording. I thought that my mobile phone would record more than 5 minutes, because at the other O.P. I used the same mobile phone to record me. It could be because the battery, it was low at the morning... either way I could record just one minute. Unfortunately I think that I haven't done well this presentation, like the others, I've been so nervous and in some moments I didn't know what to say. My power-point doesn't have sufficient slides and some friends said me that I didn't move enough. In the other hand, I knowed what to say about the theme (our research project), but it was recorded after the official presentation with the court... and it was horrible. Really horrible. And my appalling final mark confirms it.

Here's the transcription:
" Amm... Well, I have done my research project about a pedagogical method called Kumon Method.
My objectives were to know more about this method, to know more about other pedagogical methods and also to comprove their efficiency.
The Kumon Method is based on maths and it's a progression since the firsts learnings of maths (like to count, sums, substractions) to a more complexes operations (like determinants, angles...). It's divided in 23 levels, and each level has got like 200 books of exercises and each book has got like 20 or 30 pages full of operations. "

Here is when the battery ended, so I'll write what I had in my script:

"This makes that when the student advances to the next level, he won’t feel any difficulty. It’s called the “painless learning”.
As you see, it’s not a great innovation at the education world, because the student just have to repeat and repeat the same exercises that he’s already done yesterday, and the day before.
One of the disadvantages of the method is his continuity. Every day (even weekends and summer) the student has to be like 30 minutes doing his exercises. It uses to satiate the student, so there are a lot of them that retires from him.
Nonetheless it gives great benefits to the capacity of concentration of the student, and because of that, the student will be able to learn more things in less time.
Also, this method let the student to learn about secondary or batxiller maths while he’s just in primary. At the interview to the kumon’s teacher on Figueres I saw that one student from 4th of primary are doing equals from 2nd of institute.
He did them quickly, without thinking of what he’s doing.
I get a few more information from this “school”, because there are a bit of secrecy in this organization.
It’s all, questions?"

Here's the video:

Description of a place

I think that my favourite place, since this summer that it's when I saw it for the first time, is a rural way that it's in Castelló Nou, between fields and trees. It's at the west part of Castelló Nou and it has like 3 or 4 kilometers long. I like this place because I use to run there and I have great memories of this summer.

This place could be divided in two parts, the first one is sorrounded of corn fields and the way takes an "S" form. It's so simple and the way it's of sand, rocks and earth. Sometimes at the summer there are tracktors and camions but the air isn't contaminated, it's absolutely pure.

At the second part there are a sun flowers field in the right side and in the left side there are a line of trees in front of an enormous green field. This part is so peacefull and there aren't curves. At the summer there are a lot of colours because the sun flowers and the trees, and there are constantly birds singing.

The final part it's a direct way to a rural house. There use to be puddles in the floor but in the summer it's sorrounded of trees and the shadow of them it's so calm and helpfull.

I think that the beauty of this place can be seen specially in summer, and absolutely because the mentally situation of the person.

Film Review: Pride & Prejudice

One moth ago, we (me and my classmates) saw Pride & Prejudice, after reading the homonym book. It explains the history of a young woman and his romances. She first meet Wickham, a beauty soldier of the british army and then she fells in love with a rich man that she hated before, Mr.Darcy. Her prejudices against Mr.Darcy and also her pride blinded her and avoided her to see Darcy's goodness.

At first I didn't like this film because it's considerated a romantic film. I've never seen one of these films, and I thought that it could be boring and too corny. But like the protagonist of the book, I just got prejudices against it. It may be because the charisma of the two main characters (Elizabeth and Darcy), or because the story and her misunderstandings, humanism and repression... I don't know. It just liked me.

News (and also Laws and instincts)

As I said before, humans have a natural instinct that makes us to satisfy destructives and "inmoral" wishes. Then it makes me to question to myself if we really need laws, because they just repress this instinct.

I think that the most famous law is that prevents uf of killing (humans, no more). But at every moment there are a murder or a suicide. For example, these days there've been some murders in Egypt because the authoritarianism of his political leader. But it's supposed that murder is never well-taken, so why there are a lot of them everyday?

We always want to get the happiness, and if we find obstacles we'll avoid them or eradicate them, so these murders could be well-taken. But if they are well-taken, we'll be able to admit that all the murders all well-taken, because we won't kill just because. We'll kill to get something that we don't have, to "silence" one person, to take revenge or just because they give us pleasure... But of course I think that they'll never be legally accepted (luckly).

But laws don't prevent it! It's their purpose, and there are punishments but it doesn't matter, there continues being crimes. We could increase the intensity of these punishments, we could especificate so more the laws and also we could reward the people that don't commit crimes, but there'll still being crimes, I'm sure of this. We are animals, and our dams are the humans.

Destruction's instinct

These days I've been thinking about one of Freud's theories, the instincts theory and specially the destructive instinct. He says that humans have a natural destructive instinct, an energy or force that forces us to destroy, to dissolve, to damage...
It justifies sadism or masochism as also our tendence to the wars. As we have the need to join with other people, to love, to feel loved etc. We have the need to do the opposite. Culture've repressed these instincts by sublimation (and other methods). At the destructive instinct, we canalize them by games and sport, and also by using it into ourselves, making us like we feel that we should be (respectfull, without robbing or killing, honest...).
Then, "thanks" to this repression we have an omniscient "policeman" in our minds, and he will ever repress some canalizations of the wishes that we know that we musn't satisfy. I mean, if we wants to kill our father or to robe a poor man, we'll feel an "energy" that repress this wish, and we won't satisfy it directly. Instead of kill our father or robe a poor man, we'll kill a monster in a videogame or to take the football ball from the opposite team. Culture's created this energy, and I think that it won't change.
It's good to have this policeman, or it just takes happiness from us?

Human rights are not respected. Perhaps it's time to do away with them.

Human rights are so important for Humanity because their meaning and intention to make the world a better place accepting an universal way of think based on equality and respect.

But some persons could not respect them because they could difficult or close some works.

Firstly, because in those countries, where there are slavery yet, rich people won't respect these rights because if they do it they'll lose a fortune. Humans are egoist, like all animals everywe wants to satisfy our wishes. We'll adapt them to the rules and laws to avoid punishments, but if that punishment it's just to be looked like a bad man or to see the pain of another person we could just ignore it.

Secondly, because our laws and rights can be looked like just ways of think, and everyone has a different mentality but society and especially our parents are who tells us what's wrong and what's right. If this point failures, the child could get his own etical mind and to don't care about that respected and globally accepted laws.

Thirdly, because I think that if we'd get a better education, if all of our parents would have gone to a "education school" or just have a more relative mentality, their children would have been more adapted to the society and respectfull with the other people.

In conclusion, I think that laws and rights should have been like a father's voice for all us. They should intimidate us and shows us what's "really" wrong with respected, particular and accepted arguments. If they're published for everyone and taughts us (by our parents, teachers and important people for us), they could be more respected.

With no limits

I sometimes think that the best way of living is like an animal, with no repressions and with really freedom. I know that if it's real our society'll disappear, strongest people will reign using violence and intimidations, and there'll be always wars between weak people and strong people, between sons and fathers, between brothers and between friends (if they exist in this "society"). The laws that prevent murders and stealing will disappear and all we will live with the death fear. Weak people (those that've dedicated their live at studies and analysis) will die (I think that I won't last more than 3 days) by strong people (those with more body strenght or skill), and natural selection will finally lead our specie. We'll become stronger and more adapted to our ambient and we'll live just like kings or wretchs. We'll live just like 30 years, and injuries or illness would kill us again. Our lives would be monotonous, we'll get up, kill some animal to get food, kill an "enemy", rape an attractive person, eat more food and sleep. And during the night a snake will bite us and we won't see the sun again...

In the previous post I mencioned that we should be more free and to dispel some repressions. But now I've just expressed what could happen if all we do that with no limits. In conclusion, I "like" the social situation that are we now. Just some people do what they really want to do (in some cases) and the other people see them like strange people, because they do "strange" things. I don't try to lead the people to a more free live, because I prefer to be looked as a strange man than to be killed by a snake. But I'd like that my friends do what they want like I do sometimes, I'd see they like more... human.

Without repressions

I think that something like to meet with friends or to study the lesson has becomed into a need. To keep our social status doesn't give us just a site in the world, it also defend us from him. A protection maked by a repression of our primary instincts and also a beautiful mask provides us security, but this security is weak and it can be dispelled. I think that those nobile people, that are so correct and formal, should have a lot of mentals problems (if they tries to keep this personality all the day). They are forced by theirselves to be good looked by their "friends", work members and also unknowed people. They think that if they are good looked they'll live better and will obtain more pleasure, and it could be, because society reward these people, but this mentality (dogmatic, closed, steady, correct...) will generate unwell and questions like "where do I want to arrive?".

I'm not just referring to upper class, I'm referring to a mentality that all us have, that mentality that stops us to do what we want or "need" to do. For example, the last day of this first semester I feel the need to hit something, or to scream very loud, I didn't want to go home, to be on holidays and not be able to see my friends everyday... and I couldn't do that because teachers or my classmates should have stopped me. Sometimes I feel that I need to do something eccentric, like to run fast and far away, to go out one night to anywhere, to jump up a table, to shout to a teacher etc. and I can't do it because I'd have punished. But this need tortures me and I don't want to live as a repressed. Sometimes people says that I'm so strange because I do strange things, but I think that they're the strange people because they don't do what I do, and I do what I really want to do, without repressions, with freedom.